The Cactus Garden in Guatiza

If you think that after climbing around the Rofera rocks, or walking through the market in Teguise, or maybe running around a volcanic crater would knock us out for a six, then yes, you would be absolutely right! After all, we’re not so young anymore wink-wink. We were really pooped so we headed back to our holiday appartment, and guess what, the driver, yours truly, left the highway one exit too early. This meant driving through one or two villages hoping to get see a sign that said “yay, you are nearly home”. None of that! So just as we were contemplating to make a u-turn and go all the way back to the highway, we saw a huge, big huge, eight metres high huge, metal cactus thingy on the side of the road, and a windmill sort of behind it. Wow! Stop! Yes, the brakes were slammed on (easy when you’re driving like a snail heehee) and we found somewhere to park…in a muddy puddle of water, but hey, whatever. We first walked around the outside of the fenced-in park “just to take a photo of two of the windmill” but then that “curiosity-killed-the-cat” thing got hold of us so we paid and went in. Suddenly there were no tired feet nor big teary yawnings, instead just open-mouthed awe at what greeted us behind the entrance. Cacti in all shapes and sizes!

The Jardín de Cactus is worth a visit for cactus lovers and also if, like us, you appreciate the works of Lanzarote’s very own, and internationally renowned artist, the late César Manrique. This garden was apparently the very last landscape masterpiece he created in 1991, the year before he tragically died in a car accident.

One can argue about it being too small or boring, or about the price of the entrance fee, but come on, there are at least one thousand different species of cacti from all over the world in there. Some are pretty, others a bit ugly and there are strange ones too, and this is what makes it all the more interesting.

Oh, and the singing birds, the fishies, the juicy cactus fruit and again, the windmill.

Then there’s the amazing César touch to be found all over, some quite naughty…oops!

 

 

 

 

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Castillo de Santa Bárbara

Not long after we left the rock formations of Rofera, we saw this imposing building sitting on an extinct volcano. You simply cannot miss it. We did not think that it was a tourist attraction as we did not have any information about it, but meandering through the busy market in the historical town of Teguise, you look up, and there it is. We decided that it was worth a visit for after when the market closed. We wanted to walk all the way up, but the heavy and dark clouds were threatening to burst, again, and besides who wants to still exert themselves after eating some delicious ice-cream. We went up by car. Good choice when the weather is not so good, and bad choice because parking space was precarious and non-existant due to so many visitors. We were very lucky though. Just as the right front wheel of the car started dangling over the “cliff” a car right in front of us moved out and we quickly slipped into the parking space. Whew! The passenger could breathe again and there would be no need for a helicopter to lift the car out of the crater.

The Castillo de Santa Bárbara (Saint Barbara Castle) was built as a fortress to ward off danger especially when pirates kept on attacking the island. It also served as a refuge for the locals during hostile invasions. As mentioned before, it sits on the rim of a crater in an extinct volcano, the Mt. Guanapay. It is really worth a visit, especially for the views.

 

 

 

The entrance is via a draw-bridge and not free of charge. We only had an hour before closing time so we whoosh-whooshed through the stone hallways, getting lost too, but we managed to find the exit to the top…

 

 

One could argue if it is worth spending a few euros each per person to enter the castle as there is not much to see inside other than a small pirate museum that would interest children more. Oh, okay, so maybe some adults too, but the only way to get up to the top to enjoy the vast views is to pay an entrance fee to the museum.

 

After they closed up, we decided to walk around the crater. It was bigger than we expected so we panicked…well, one of us did, because…what if they close the road and we were not able to get out. Hmmm…Anyway, we climbed, we trotted, we ran, we got wet. Yep, it started drizzling. When we were about halfway through, they boomed on the megaphone…don’t know what, but we took it that it was time to leave. No problem, we made it to the car, almost on all fours, but we made it. In retrospect it would have been better to walk around the castle and the crater instead of going inside. The views were just as amazing.

Teguise – Sunday is market day…

Lanzarote was probably named after an Italian seafarer, Lancelotto. The village of Teguise was named after Princess Teguise, who was the great-granddaughter of the aboriginal inhabitant and ruling king of the island when Lancelotto arrived. Teguise is one, if not, the oldest Spanish settlement of the Canary Islands and sits almost in the middle of the island, (east to west) yet only about ten kilometres from the coast. Every Sunday morning, Teguise hosts one of the biggest and important markets of the Canaries, where you can find lots of local crafts, ceramics, cheeses, wines and other interesting stuff, like freshly pressed cactus juice. When we were there, a local brass band played lovely music from Western movies. Unfortunately there are also lots of stalls selling cheap knock-offs and those “made-in-…” rubbish fabrics. Does not matter, because we were only interested in all the local products and experiencing the amazing and vibrating atmosphere at the market. We really enjoyed every single loud and crazy moment!

Below are photos of the entrance to the market, their lovely church, freshly pressed cactus juice and the biggest sweet potatoes we had ever seen.

The Church of our Lady of Guadalupe (Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe) dominates the town and is the tallest building in Teguise which can be seen from any vantage point. There’s a big square in front of the church, the Constitution Square (Plaza de la Constitución) with two bronze lion statues and sculpture of a dancer from the group Rancho de Pascuas.

The famous granary building, called the “cillas” (below – top left) was built in 1680 to store all the grains that the townsfolk were forced to tithe from their harvests once a year to the clergy. The building was renovated in the 1980’s.

Palm trees are plenty, and the typical white-washed facades which can be found all over the island.

“The Palacio de Marques is the oldest building on the island, dating back to 1455 when it was finally completed after a lengthy 32-year construction process.” quoted from the official website of Teguise. The government headquarters of Lanzarote for about two hundred and seventy years it’s now a wine and tapas bar (see below)

Oh, and when we thought that another storm was brewing, the thunder-clapping kind hahahaha, it was “only” this aerobatic squadron flying over…ooh, the noise!

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ps: The market opens at nine in the morning and closes five hours later. We arrived just a bit more than two hours before closing time so had lots of time to see all the stalls and visit some important historical buildings. As soon as the clock strikes two, they all start packing up and people leave the town. An hour later you’d wonder if there’s any life in the village, that’s how “dead” suddenly becomes. This was our opportunity to explore a bit more, especially as one could see the architecture much better!

 

 

Rofera de Teseguite

One of the most surprising things in life is when you come upon something you just never expected to see. This was one such moment when we were on our way to a Sunday market in Teguise.  Shortly after jumping off the LZ-1 main road and before reaching the nearby village Teseguite, seemingly out of nowhere !whoa-what-is-that! there they were, strange yet amazing rock formations jutting out of the landscape. So we scree..ee..eeched to a halt and got out to explore. This was the only place we’d seen something like this in all the time we had been on the island. As Lanzarote is an island of volcanic origin, these rocks have apparently been, over many many years, been weathered down from volcanic cones…Maravilloso!

 

Don’t these below look regal and proud??

 

The whole landscape is in a sort of ravine, with this huge volcano (left) on one side

 

Nothing was too high or too “dangerous” to climb for a good photo…hmmm…

 

Punta Mujeres

Punta Mujeres is a pretty little village on the north-east cost on the island of Lanzarote. It does not seem to be overfilled with tourists as there are many locals living here. We rented a two-floor appartment with a huge rooftop terrace which could be reached from the main bedroom. The building had a sea view to the front and the volcano views at the back. One extinct volcano, the Monte Corona could be easily seen from here. Our neighbours were all locals, so we had very loud ones to our left and a charming old lady who loved talking to us on the right. The village is very lively and there are many restaurants to go to for some typical local food and conversation. Our Spanish is not great but we still manage to “talk” and laugh with everyone. There are also a few rock pools where everyone seemed to swim in, except us of course…no time…We found it easy and comfortable travelling to all interesting (for us) points on the island from Punta Mujeres, and it’s also not far from the main airport.

Here are a few photos of our appartment and view. The main bedroom and the view from the terrace, with our first sunrise and at the exact same time, a rainbow at the back. How is that for wonderful???

 

The “flora and fauna” were also interesting, especially the cats…oh, and does this white heron have green feet??

 

Lovely painted wall murals

 

Look closely and you will see the name of the village on the windmill. The clouds over the village looked scarier than they were.

 

 

Cradle of Humankind: Rhino & Lion Nature Reserve

Phew! What an amazing road trip! We finally reached Johannesburg, our first and last point of this woweeee holiday. We were still in awe of the road trip we had accomplished in only sixteen days, and this all by ourselves *pat on the back* With two cars we clocked almost three thousand kilometres and motored across half of this big and wonderful country. Well, almost half…oh, okay, half of half…whatever-rrr. We “burnt rubber”, as the saying goes, but little did we know that rubber would really be burning. After the Elephants and a night full of trunks were tooting or was it snoring wild dreams, we were sooo ready to head up north. Johannesburg here we come! It was blerry hot. We had the car air-con on full blast which helped a bit. Who am I kidding…it helped zilch, nada, nix. Try driving and panting for air while pleating your forehead in the hope that those salty sweaty pearls will not plop into your eyes. After driving for six and a half hours through dry and empty landscapes, only stopping once, we decided to overnight in Bloemfontein, a city which loosely translated means “blooming fountain” or “fountain of flowers”. Forget blooming anything, to us it was just !Yay! People. Food. Bathtub. We did not feel like exploring. Pooped as hell. The next morning it was hotter than the devil’s *cough-cough* and one could even see heat waves dancing on the never-ending tarred road. The car was making strange noises and we also needed to fill up the petrol tank, so after almost three hours into our journey, we stopped at a service station. As we tried to leave, the car started to make funny noises, which got louder and louder with each metre, so we stopped and discovered that the whole front wheel arch on the right had melted onto the tyre! Geezus! It was a big and fancy car, but all that modern manufactured “plastic” apparently couldn’t stand the heat. Luckily our rental agent sorted everything out, but we still had to wait for an hour before a replacement car was brought to us. We were, after all, in the middle of nowhere. We used this time to have an early lunch, twiddle our thumbs…and fret. The new car was a snazzy little thing, emphasis on little, and we just about managed to squeeze all our luggage in. Daddy long legs sort of folded himself into the front seat. Phew, there was more than enough space, even if the seat was sorta the same length as his shoe 😜  How happy we were when we finally got home. Yoo-hoo!

A day before our flight out, we decided to go on one more safari, just because it was around the corner (a forty five minute drive corner) and also because “someone” was gaga about wild animals wanted to see more wild animals, probably for the last time in this year, so we visited a privately owned Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve that is situated within the Cradle of Humankind, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The Reserve is quite large, considering its close proximity to Johannesburg, Pretoria and other cities or towns. It was also founded by a former stockbroker, Ed Hern, who I personally know from my many years working at the Stock Exchange. Here’s something to smile about… According to their website, the reserve started off with, amongst others, two white rhinos, renamed “Ouvrou” (old woman) and “Bulle” (bull), that were imported all the way from…wait for it…a zoo…now get this…in Germany! A zoo in Germany! Mein lieber Scholli!!

It is possible to do both a walk and/or a self-drive tour, depending on what you want to see. No! You cannot cuddle a lion nor tickle a crocodile (some idiots do try) but you can stand next to a curious Marabou Stork or be brave and visit the slithering snakes in the Reptile Park. There’s also a wonderful eatery where you can sample a typical local “snack” of chips with a boerewors roll, washed down with a cold creme-soda milkshake.

Boerewors Roll and Creme Soda Milkshake

Driving within the wild animal enclosure is also easy as the roads are okay. Dusty and unpaved, but okay. Well, it depends on your car. We had mother-dearest’s flat as a pancake low-lying Merc AMG sports car which scraped over stones and bumpity-bumps. Eish! We did not expect “natural” roads because at Addo everything was tarred. Added to that, at the furthest end of the reserve, surrounded by hungry-looking wild dogs and far far away from humans, or the exit gate, a thingy inside the car started making peeping noises. Buckled up? Yep. It didn’t stop. We looked again and geezuz, the petrol gauge was on red. So the German one of us started freaking out, like we’re going to be eaten alive or something 😱 Duh! The heat would have done us in before that because the windows had to stay closed 😰 Anyway, we manouvered the pancake car around a lazing animal or two trying to make a u-turn and slowly, very slowly edged our way towards the exit. The tortoise got there before us, but as soon as we hit the main road, tarred of course, we added some speed and found a petrol station only about twenty panicky minutes away. Glug-glug-glug. That was us drinking ginger beer instead of something spirity. Thankfully we’d seen most of the animals at the reserve, and oh, the handsome one also took lots of photos. Ende gut, alles gut (all’s well that ends well).  😀 😇  Enjoy these awesome photos!

African Wild Dog (Lycaon Pictus)

 

 

South African Cheetah (Acinonyx Jubatus Jubatus and Fennec Fox/Fennec (Vulpes Zerda)

 

 

White Lion Cubs

 

 

White Lion

 

 

 

Hartmann’s Mountain Zebra (Equus Zebra Hartmannae)

 

 

Blue Wildebeest (Connochaetes Taurinus), or common Wildebeest, and white-bearded Wildebeest or Brindled Gnu

 

 

Blesbok or Blesbuck (Damaliscus Pygargus Phillipsi)

 

 

Sable Antelope (Hippotragus Niger) and Waterbuck (Kobus Defassa)

 

 

Common Warthog (Phacochoerus Africanus)

 

 

 

Springbok (Antidorcas Marsupialis) and South African Ostrich (S. c. Australis)

 

 

Crocodiles and Pygmy Hippopotamus (Choeropsis Liberiensis or Hexaprotodon Liberiensis)

 

 

Python, Eastern Green Mamba (Dendroaspis angusticeps), also known as the common Mamba and a Puff Adder (Bitis Arietans)

 

 

Yellow Mongoose (Cynictis Penicillata), sometimes referred to as the red Meerkat

 

 

Cape Ground Squirrel (Xerus Inauris)

 

 

African Sacred Ibis (Threskiornis Aethiopicus)

 

 

Cattle Egret (Bubulcus Ibis) and a White Stork (Ciconia Ciconia)

 

 

Marabou Stork (Leptoptilos Crumenifer)

 

 

 

Secretary Bird (Sagittarius Serpentarius)

 

 

Southern Masked Weaver or African Masked Weaver (Ploceus Velatus)

 

 

Long-tailed Widowbird (Euplectes Progne) and Blacksmith Lapwing or Blacksmith Plover (Vanellus Armatus)

 

 

Helmeted Guineafowl (Numida Meleagris)

 

 

 

 

 

Addo Elephant National Park

Day fourteen: We spent the night of day thirteen in Jeffrey’s Bay only because we had too much fun in Knysna and the oh so interesting Monkeyland (📢 what? ⌛️ you’re closing?? but…but…but..! Yes, we were the last ones who had to be escorted out, duh! obviously 😳). Despite driving fast for one and a half hours and trying very hard to ignore the stunning beauty of the Tsitsikamma Forest which seemed to nuzzle both sides of the road (waa-haaa-sob-sniff), twilight was looming and there was no way we were going to reach the Addo Elephant National Park before the sun waved bye-bye for the day. A quick search on the internet, a short call and yay, we found somewhere to spend the night! Our room had a view of the ocean (see below) but seriously, it was a bit hazy because the only thing we could see were plates full of huge pieces of deliciously fried fish. We were starving! Forget tired, our growling stomachs needed some serious feeding. A restaurant called the Kitchen Windows Beach Restaurant, was highly recommended and just happened to be almost around the corner. Wow! What an amazing place. The ambience, the friendliness, the sea almost at your feet, the fingerlicking good food, and the wine! Hic. The W.I.N.E!!! Oh! My! Goodness! Slurp. Burp. Hic. Oh, and they make a mean whiskey Dom Pedro too! We only managed a few one glass each…Shhh!

 

The morning of day fourteen was nice and sunny, with a gentle breeze removing toast crumbs fanning our cheeks while we ate breakfast. We were really excited about our next adventure (toot-toot-parp! Elephants!), so much so that between tea sipping and jam on toast, we managed to find somewhere to stay for the night. So with SatNav dearest up to date, we pointed the car in the direction of the highway, promising not to stop until we reached Addo. After surviving heavy morning traffic through Port Elizabeth, sniffing the sea for the last time on this trip, then hop-bopping on an ancient and very patchy tarred road, and finally, with wheels spitting gravel and dust on the dirt road leading up to the guest farm, we reached the welcoming gates of De Old Drift (below). It was hot, hot, HOT! Sssst! We were so tempted to jump into the sparkling pool, clothes and all, but we settled instead for a complimentary bottle of ice-cold water (glugg-glugg) as we had a date with some elephants. The guest farm has a large citrus orchard, is next to the Sundays River and is surrounded by raw nature. One could also see some bucks wandering nearby. The farm also lies in the pampas (basically in the middle of nowhere), and the only sounds reaching our ears were lots of sssss’s and other strange insect noises. This prompted one of us to ask about the snake situation because, you know, there are some milky-white hairy delicious foreign legs wearing shorts and sandals now here…She assured us that the whole property was surrounded with electric fencing, so if and when a creepy crawly, slither-roo or any other hungry gnasher touched the fence, then ZAPP! it was off to animal heaven. Okay, we believe you…not. We checked all the nooks and crannies of our lovely quarters, but found nothing, not even a spider. The delightful young lady was right. Unfortunately we had no time to dawdle as we still needed to drive by the “don’t-blink-or-you-will-miss-it” petrol station before we reached the park. We intended to do a self-drive tour then join a group for a guided sundowner tour.

 

 

Addo Elephant National Park

The park does not only have elephants, and it was quite surprising to see such a variety  of wild animals freely roaming around. The were Greater Kudus, Plains Zebras, common Warthogs (with babies) and Black-backed jackals, to name just a few…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…and of course, the Southern African Lion, sitting in the shade, posing and preening…

 

 

 

 

The HIGHLIGHT, African Bush Elephants. Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got green bush in my tummy. Elephants eat a lot. Really, A LOT! Bushes, trees, grass, plants, any vegetation they can get their trunks on. Vegetarians. They also drink a lot, which means that they’re always near water of some sort. Hmmm, all that green stuff and they’re still sooo big. Scary big. Oh nooo, this person prefers to be a carnivore, thank you very much…hahaha!

 

 

 

 

It was very interesting to see the interaction of the whole herd towards the little ones, and especially how cheeky these young ‘uns were! There was the littlest one, hiding under one of the adults, then coming out to tease his bigger “brother”, and then running for it before big brother wacks him…(last pic) 🐘. It was so funny! What a wonderful and fantastic day! We were so near to them that it was sometimes scary, but after giving us the BIG eye, they carried on as if they didn’t just scare the shit hell out of you. Amazing animals! Amazing experience ❤️ There’s nothing more pray, pray humbling than having one or more of these “gentle” giants surround your car…just for a sniff…